Thursday, February 10, 2011

1 year old!

Dear Sawyer,

I've been thinking about this post for a couple of weeks...trying to write it in my head to make sure I capture all that I want to tell you.  But I know that is impossible because I don't think I'll ever adequately be able to put my feelings into words.  Being a parent is just something you have to experience to truly get.  And I pray that one day you will have that privilege.

I can't believe a year has already past since that day our worlds collided and both of our lives began.  Yours literally and mine in the sense that I never knew how incomplete I was until you arrived.  You were so tiny and I was so overwhelmed.  But staring at each other that first moment I held you made time stand still and gave me such a peace.  It was like I was finally doing what I was made for.

You forever changed me.  You made me a mommy!  And up until that very second I had no idea how to care for a tiny baby but once you were here, I knew exactly what to do.  I may have solicited advice from a few people I trust, but usually had the answer all along in my gut.  And no one does it quite like I do.  But that's okay - that is how it is supposed to be between a baby and their momma.  That is what makes mommies so special.
What a year it's been.  We've come a long way - both learning so much from each other.  Like nothing ever turns out quite like you expect but somehow it all ends up okay and sometimes even better.  I'm not sad that a year has already come and gone.  I've enjoyed it all and seared into my memory so many precious moments.  It's been the best year of my life.  And it just keeps getting better and that makes me excited.

The road ahead is unknown but bright, I'm certain.  I pray for many more birthdays to celebrate.  And while I don't know what lies ahead, I remind myself of one thing.  And that alone will always be enough!

Happy 1st Birthday my sweet son!