Friday, April 13, 2012


There is so much I want to say to/about these boys but the words are hard to find.  I hope they know by my words, my actions, my ways with them that they are my whole entire being.  They are such precious babies and I am in awe of them everyday, and it is such a blessing to be experiencing life as their mommy.

~Sawyer ~
 I adore this kid.
He's challenging.  He's 2.  I tell myself all the time...he's only 2...this is only a season.  But when I lay my head down at night I have to focus hard on the sweet, happy, good moments (and there are plenty) that are sprinkled throughout our day.  If not, I'm overcome with guilt about all the disciplining that took place.  It's hard.  Period.   

 He is really talking now and he's hysterical.  I could sit and listen to him all day.  We just discovered that he's pretty good with his colors and he can count to 14.  I was pretty impressed!  And I think sometimes I don't give myself enough credit.  I immediately thought he learned it at daycare or from watching Mickey Mouse - totally dismissing that we color all the time and read a stack of books every night before bed. 

We are weaning from the paci.  We're on week 2 of leaving them in his crib and only having them at night time.  No more taking them to daycare for naps.  He whined some the first couple of days driving to school because he was used to having it in the car.  And the first few mornings he didn't want to leave it in his crib.  But he's adjusting pretty good.  Not sure when we'll get rid of it completely.  We have a trip home planned in a couple of weeks and I'm thinking maybe after we get back.  But I go back and forth.  Some days thinking it's time and some days thinking if it's just at night and he loves it and it makes him happy, why rush it...
we'll see...

We've finally found a church that we love.  Even though we've been watching our home church online, it's been so nice physically going every week.  And we are making major progress with the nursery.  Saw doesn't do well with change or strangers. But this past weekend he only cried for a second and didn't want to leave when I went to get him.  The first couple of times he cried pretty hard and they pretty much held him the entire time.  He wouldn't color or play or anything.  It is getting better each week.  And I'm so thankful.  Handing over your child as they are crying and clinging to you is gut wrentching.  But this is important.  I want to raise children that love Jesus and that grow into Godly men.

This baby brings me joy like no other.  

Often times, when I am surrounded by mass chaos, messy rooms, wild 2 year old, barking dog, etc., I look at this guy and he starts smiling and it's like we are in a different world.  He has the ability to calm me and to remind me that what both of my boys ultimately want is just me...being attention, affection and love. And snuggles pretty much make everything better.

Funny how with your first baby, you are constantly looking to the next milestone: baby food, crawling, walking, talking, etc.  But it's so different the second time around.  I now know how quickly it all passes and I find myself desperately trying to slow things down.  And you relax more the second time around and for us I think it's rubbed off on Gra too.  He's a pretty laid back little guy.

It's also funny how the dynamics with each of your children can be so different.  How you can love them equally but differently.  It's a beautiful thing.  I remember being so worried before Graham was born -- how could I possibly love another child as much as my first?  But God surely knows what he is doing.  He knows how to multiply a mommy's heart and love.  And He blessed us with the perfect little brother for us.  People say going from 1 child to 2 is the hardest transition.  And it was an adjustment for sure.  But I tend to live with rose colored glasses...twice the laughs, twice the kisses, twice the get the point. :)

Watching the bond between you two form is even better than I imagined. 
I'm excited for whats to come...