Monday, April 1, 2013

A battle on Easter morning....

Our Easter was wonderful.  Although there was a brief period that morning that was anything but. 
I have this condition that I've mentioned before....the "rose colored glasses" that I wear.  And it's not just for this blog, it's all the time.  I can very quickly forget how bad a meltdown was, how whiny my kids were, how little sleep you get with a newborn, it happens and then a few hours later I think it wasn't that bad.  And when I voice that to the other people who witnessed it they look at me like I have 4 eyes.  It's both a blessing and a curse.  Which is why I'm sharing this story now because in a few days it won't seem like it was so bad.

So, Easter morning was good.  The Easter bunny visited and that was fun.  We made bunny cinnamon rolls for breakfast and that was fun.  Then it was time to get dressed for church and that was not fun.  Sawyer fought me every inch of the way.  How he just wanted to wear his pj's, how he wanted to watch Curious George, how his precious white shoes I picked out were hurting him and on and on and on.  I was losing my patience, I raised my voice A LOT, and if I'm being totally honest, he got a spanking.  It was ugly!  And trying to get a picture of my adorable looking boys after this fiasco....forget it.  That just caused my blood pressure to rise even more and I yelled, again.

We finally made it to church.  And as worship started so did my tears.  I felt so convicted.  I do NOT want Easter Sunday to be about clothes and pictures.  I do NOT want Sawyer's Easter morning memories to include his Mom being a control freak and screaming at him to stand still and smile for the camera.  But, he needs to obey.  And this is where it gets so tough. 

I don't just want him to obey...I want his heart.  I want him to understand why it's so important for him to learn obedience and respect. I want him to understand that I only want good things for him and I always have his best interest at heart.  But I have a lot to learn too.  Well, not so much learning because I know these things already but more doing...choosing my words and tone carefully, for starters.  I have a feeling we will have many more days like this...and I'm sure if it's not him, it will be his brother.  But I will fight for them and their hearts!

Once church was over, I practically sprinted to get him.  I needed to apologize to him for how I acted/reacted.  We needed to have a calm, rational conversation and I needed to explain {again, in a much calmer manner} why I was so upset earlier and re-emphasize the importance of listening and obeying.  When I walked up to get him, he flashed me the cutest little grin. I apologized and asked for forgiveness and he did the same.  And we promised to have a great rest of the day.  Which we did.  I think we all just needed a little Jesus.  Isn't that the truth everyday?!

Everyday, not just Easter, I'm so thankful to serve an awesome God.  One who only wants good things for me and has my best interest at heart.  One who is patient and kind with me but also demands obedience.  One who is quick to forgive and forget.  What a great example for me...and for Sawyer.  We were talking about Easter last night while I was giving the boys a bath.  And what it really means.  And Sawyer said "Jesus made me right with God".  I was so proud and for a second I thought maybe he's getting it...

PS - Sawyer wore his Toms. ;)

LOTS more pictures coming soon.... because in spite of this little incident, we had a wonderful day!


Kathy Jo said...

Your words are so beautiful, but your heart is truely felt.

There is a lesson for everyone found in your precious words...God just doesn't want us to obey, he wants our heart.

I love you so very much!

Jennifer said...

We have never met and I am not sure how I stumbled across your blog, but I have been reading for a little while now. I just wanted to comment on this post because you are not alone. We didn't have any issues with getting dressed on Easter morning because my son wanted to wear what I had for him... however, it is every. other. morning. that I have to worry about. My screaming fits of rage are so unnecessary and I do ask for forgiveness from my little guy often. However, in those moments where they (our children)respond as yours did about Jesus, you soon realize that you are doing something right. And thankfully, the good stuff is sinking in. :) Your words are so true and I needed them today. Thank you.